


sweat from my eyes (are called tears)

by OMGTHEFEEL



Series: crying is a healthy alternative [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i lied it's really not fluff, it's very emotion heavy, procrastinating is bad, self-care, slight angst, this title doesn't match the mood at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 20:31:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19837990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGTHEFEEL/pseuds/OMGTHEFEEL
Summary: The media picks and picks and picks with a smile and a knife and Seungri wonders if they know they're trying to suffocate something that no longer breathes.





	sweat from my eyes (are called tears)

**sweat from my eyes (are called tears)**

Mid-summer skies, blue and clear. Sunlight spills through the windows like clockwork.

Seungri craves ramen for no other reason than a homesickness he can't name, even though he's spent these past few months stuck at home. He craves ramen: fuming hot broth, warm and salty, thick soft noodles and fresh green onions, a bit of pork and a runny egg, maybe even a side of crispy gyoza if Taekgu wants some.

**_"Only a few more days before BIGBANG'S rapper TOP returns from his enlistment.."_ **

Seungri pauses for a second, watches as the figure of his hyung smiles on screen. There's a nervous tension to his shoulders that Seungri only notices because he's known Seunghyun for years.

His enlistment had been scheduled on March, a few months before his hyung's release because they'd all agreed to come back together after Seungri's enlistment. 

Seungri remembers the anticipation they all had then. The entertainment industry had finally begun to make waves overseas, big waves, and BIGBANG had been caught up in the excitement.

Everything was bigger, brighter, wilder, and Jiyong thrived under it all. 

Seungri had thought, then, that BIGBANG would maybe last a little longer. That five or ten more years wouldn't be too much to ask.

So Seungri prepared himself to take on the mantle of BIGBANG and keep their group in the public's eye; made promises left and right and looked forward to a bigger stage. 

> _"BIGBANG will be back for Tokyo's 2020 Olympics!" They chorus, eyes bright and full of ambition._

But then.

Then there had been _Burning Sun_ and then _Jung Joonyoung,_ and suddenly, everything Seungri worked for faded away like it was nothing. Even months later, the reminder of it still aches, a rip in his side that hurts everytime he breathes.

Seungri stares upwards at the sky and exhales, closes his eyes.

He hates breaking his promises.

***

"What do you mean?" Seungri doesn't look up, eyes focused on his case documents. He wants to go over them one more time, there's nothing left Seungri can do at this point, he knows, they're going to send the documents to the persecutor tomorrow; but it makes him feel better. Less restless.

"I didn't say anything before, because we were running for time." Taekgu sighs and Seungri feels a sharp stab of guilt pierce through him. His manager's eyebags are dark and rival his own. They could be twins, Seungri thinks. "But it's unhealthy Seungri, you're running yourself ragged."

Seungri swallows, his throat is scratchy and dry.

"We've been through worse," Seungri jokes. "I've been through worse Taekgu-ah." It tastes like a lie on his tongue.

"No, you haven't." Taekgu pulls off his glasses and wipes them. "Not alone."

Seungri lets his smile fall. He doesn't like how quiet the room sounds but can't bring himself to turn on loud music. "I'm not alone," Seungri corrects. "I still have you and my bodyguards and my family and..." 

> _"We are five. BIGBANG is five people, five members, five stars. We have each other's backs because we're family."_

Seungri doesn't finish his sentence, lets the words linger and cling to the creases of their clothes and hair like smoke. 

Words unsaid rang louder than anything else.

"I'm sorry." Seungri says. 

"Don't be," Taekgu reprimands. "We've been over this, you couldn't have known. It's not your fault and you're not in charge of other people's actions. Don't apologize for things that you can't control."

"Okay," Seungri says, quietly, because it's not Taekgu's fault that Seungri can't stop feeling bad. It's been months and it still hurts when he thinks about it or talks about it. (or breathe or live and exist in a world where it happened)

"Stop that, that look on your face. Stop thinking stupid things," Taekgu says. He's using his responsible-manager voice, Seungri notices. It makes him smile, lopsidedly. "I booked a private sauna for you at that spa resort, the one in Nonhyeong-dong."

"Are you coming with me?" Seungri asks, stretching his hands above in his head and feels his bones creak like they're on the verge of snapping and the burn of his muscles as they follow the motion. Seungri hums. 

"I'm staying outside," Taekgu says.

"To protect me?" Seungri asks teasingly, and he laughs at the serious and determined expression on Taekgu's face.

"Of course," Taekgu says, and Seungri smiles at him, remembers how he'd kept an arm wrapped around his shoulders and held on tight, stayed, even as news of Seungri leaving YG had gone out. "Someone needs to."

"I'll be fine, Taekgu-ah." Seungri promises, and tries to pull himself together, wrap himself tighter, because he knows that he has to be, before anyone notices how close he is to breaking apart.

***

Seungri has a bad habit of taking on more work than he can handle. 

"Are you sure you want to take that endorsement deal," Taekgu asks. "You already have so many, I doubt you need this one too. Isn't it enough if you just do well for your solo?" 

Seungri knows Taekgyu means well, and he knows better than most how hard Seungri can push himself, but when he closes his eyes, all he can see are his hyungs.

Jiyong bouncing on his heels, eyes bright and hopeful, smile wide and genuine like he's a child. Daesung and Youngbae giving it their all to make one last effort before enlisting. The fragile curve of Seunghyun's back during their last concert, sad yet hopeful all at the same time.

When Seungri thinks of how his hyungs looked, excited and beaming with silly grins on their faces at the thought of an even brighter future, it makes several decisions for him. 

"BIGBANG doesn't settle Taekgu," Seungri says. "We'll go above and beyond. I have to make sure no one forgets BIGBANG."

Taekgu sighs. "You're crazy." And then he laughs, incredulous. "Or maybe _I_ am, because for some reason, I believe you."

"Of course you do," Seungri grins. Bright and bold and confident. "I'm BIGBANG's victory after all, there's nothing I can't do."

Not when it's for BIGBANG. Not when it's for his hyungs.

***

The worst part, Daesung used to say, about being famous is being watched all the time.

Youngbae and Jiyong had agreed with him, because they've never been the type to enjoy sharing their personal life to the public, and Seunghyun never really cared either way, but Seungri had never really minded it, had enjoyed it even, because he loved attention. 

It's harder now for Seungri to show up to public places. He has to tell himself go and socialize, you’ll feel better, you'll be okay. 

He tries to feel normal for one day, so that Taekgu doesn't have to worry, but he can't. Seungri can only manage a bone-deep weariness, a dragging exhaustion that's plagued him ever since this whole scandal started.

"Are you okay?" Taekgu narrows his eyes in concern. "You look sick."

Seungri smiles from behind his mask. "Jeeze Taekgu, this is the second time you've asked me this. You sure you don't wanna come in?" 

"No way," Taekgu says immediately. "You'll only bring me more stress and cancel out any relaxation I'd gain." 

"So you say," Seungri says with a laugh. "But I know you adore me."

Taekgu grins and noticeable doesn't argue when he flips Seungri off. "Just go already."

***

"How are you doing?" Youngbae asks.

"It's been hard hyung," Seungri admits. There's a hint of apology in his words.

"Don't work too hard maknae, you're doing good." Youngbae says, and then he laughs. "But did you have to dress up as a girl?" Seungri can imagine his eyes turning into crescents and a wide grin stretching across his hyung's lips. "In front of YG too?"

"I rocked that outfit hyung, don't deny it," Seungri bites back a laugh when Youngbae snorts. 

"We're proud of you," Youngbae says. "Even Seunghyun-hyung, he's been bragging about you to anyone who will listen." Seungri muffles a giggle because it's late and he should be asleep. Seungri doubts Youngbae realizes he's not in South Korea but Seungri doesn't want to tell him, in case the older man decides to hang up.

Youngbae is quiet and Seungri feels calm. "I know it isn't easy, especially since we can't be there for you, but you're not alone."

Seungri picks at the hotel bed covers. They're soft. Daesung would like them.

Seungri wishes, just a little, that he could see his hyung again. Seungri has no problem admitting to the world that he misses his bandmates, that sometimes he feels so lonely that he can't breathe.

He curls himself on bed and feels small. 

> _The first Great Seungri Tour concert had been loud, so loud, and maybe it was the lack of other people, of other members that made the stage feel so wide._
> 
> _Seungri remembers staring across the stage as 1,2,3 blasted from the speakers, and thinking he could reach out and touch heaven. He remembers turning around, wanting to share the moment, the sheer happiness in his chest, only to find no one standing next to him, and feeling very, very small in that moment._

"I know hyung," Seungri says, and Youngbae laughs again.

"No you don't, but that's fine. You won't be alone soon, so wait for us. Just a little longer."

Just a little longer,Seungri repeats, and that spark of anticipation blooms in his heart again.

_(BIGBANG 2020 Tokyo Olympics.)_

Just a little longer before they're reunited. Seungri can't wait.

***

The water is hot and promises warmth.

Seungri stands at the edge of the pool. Walks up the slope of smooth stones and weathered boulders. The sound of water rushes down and steam clouds the air. Seungri stops. 

Waits. 

Seungri looks down and his breath catches in his throat. 

Seungri sees himself in the water. A reflection as pure as a mirror's. A vision as fine and smooth as glass. There is a sense of vertigo, and a part of him wants to slip underneath the veil of water and into the smoke and touch the other side.

His reflection stares at him with tired, tired eyes. _Is this what people see when they look at him?_

Seungri can barely recognize himself.

Seungri feels like a doll that's lost it's stuffing and it's all spilling out on the floor, little bits of it slipping through his fingers, leaving him stumbling, failing to stitch himself back together.

Maybe Seungri's been hurting for a while now, and he's only gotten used to this deep sticky ache that he can't shake off, stretching and weighing down his every move with a rotting sickness that eats into his bones. 

Seungri licks his lips, his breath comes faster, harder, and his head feels light. Some desperate impulse drives his fingers to strike at the water, impotent disgust and anger burning inside as he lashes out. 

His reflection stares at him, every inch of victory striped away until all that is left is a lonely, clumsy boy with too small hands and too big heart. 

> **_SEUNGRI OF BIGBANG RETIRES FROM THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. THE END OF BIGBANG?_ **

Seungri chokes back something that might've been a laugh or a sob. "I'm so dumb for thinking, for hoping it would work out," Seungri says aloud and he feels like a teenager again; full of confidence, full of bravado, full of happiness too heavy for him to carry or keep. "I'm so, so stupid."

Little Lee Seunghyun who never figured out how to hold onto anything good. 

***

A _click_. Then dial tone.

His teeth ache from clenching his jaw, biting back all the words he wants to say but knows he can't. 

Another _click,_ and the dial tone continues.

The phone creaks in Taekgu's hand. His arm trembles and he takes the phone from his ear, and places it gently on the table. Seungri doesn't have to look up to see the anger on his face. 

"They won't pick up," Seungri says calmly. He's been through this dance before. "YG will tell us to stay quiet while everything dies down a little."

Yang Hyun Suk has always had the habit of looking through people as if they weren't there. Seungri wasn't spared from it, heck, even Jiyong wasn't spared from it.

Seungri isn't surprised that Yang Hyun Suk is choosing to wait before taking action.

Taekgu curses, deep and dark and furious, while Seungri scrolls down his laptop.

He's a masochist like that.

The media picks and picks and picks with a smile and a knife and Seungri wonders if they know they're trying to suffocate something that no longer breathes.

***

Seungri slips and submerges underwater. Holds his breath and stays there until his lungs creak and burn. He feels unhinged.

A wide, gaping hole yawns inside him like something's about to open up his ribs and crawl out.

Seungri wants to crush this feeling, demand its silence, teeth and jaw and fist. He folds it and pushes it under skin and bone, tucks it behind his ribs and begs: _please don't undo me._

Because Seungri just needs time.

Time to bury these feelings back where he'd kept them for all these years, pretend he's okay just for a little longer because the world doesn't need this from him, no one does.

Seungri tells people that he wants to sleep forever, and they laugh at him, say he might finally get rid of the dark circles under his eyes or advise him cut back on late-night parties because they think they know everything about him. (They don't.)

What they don't know is that Seungri really just wants to wake up to a place where stuff doesn’t hurt so badly to look at. He's sick of waking up in the mornings and remembering how much is going wrong. 

There's ice building in his bones, a chill that buries itself inside his soul, leaving him hollow, shivering, and all Seungri wants is to sleep. 

Doesn't he deserve this rest? _How long has it been, since the last time I've slept?_

For one long, terrifyingly breathless moment, there's nothing. Just water in his lungs and a choice that all the fame in the world won't save him from, the distant roar of water rushing through his ears before— 

_there is silence._

_he can't hear. can't breathe. can't see. can't can't can't can't_

_there is darkness._

_there's no one waiting for him. there's no one at all. he's a lone. a l o n e and it hurts_

_there is loneliness._

_i'm so sorry. i'm sorry. i'm just tired. i'm so, so tired. i can't seem to do anything right_

_there is nothing_

_but_

me.

"seungri-ah."

> _"My baby, all grown up," Jiyong murmurs into the crook of his shoulder, he smiles, lips brushing his ear and Seungri feels warm to the tips of his toes. "You'll do great. I know it."_
> 
> _"You think so?" Seungri asks, and Jiyong smiles at him, and there's a fragile happiness in his voice that's mesmerizing. Jiyong presses a soft kiss to his temple, so soft it makes Seungri's heart hurt._
> 
> _"Of course, you're my maknae after all."_

hyung.

_there is light._

_he closes his eyes and all he can see is light. a hundred thousand golden crowns in a sea of darkness. he looks around and there is_

just a little longer, remember?

Seungri breaks through the surface and his lungs swallow air.

Seungri chokes and hisses and spits out water like it's poison, feels more snake than human, and it hurts _it hurts it hurts it hurts but he's alive._

Painfully, disgustingly, irrevocably **alive**.

***

It started with a dream.

"BIGBANG will be great," Jiyong says, in the middle of their dorm, after practice, when all of them are laying on the carpet floor of their dorm panting and on the verge of passing out. Jiyong's eyes are focused on the ceiling, intense, as if he could see BIGBANG's entire future playing out and he loved every second of it. 

No one seems to be listening except for Little Seunghyun, who tries his best to focus because he's the maknae and he has to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up. "Hyung?"

Little Seunghyun's eyes meet Jiyong's, and Jiyong is glowing, his presence fills the room up. Little Seunghyun feels like he's both drowning and suddenly finally able to breathe for the first time. 

In the middle of their dorm, with their legs tangled and bodies pressed together. Little Seunghyun's ears and nose ache. An itch takes root in the back of his throat and his hyung looks so strong. 

Jiyong paints a fantasy about a future of standing in an arena filled with hundreds of thousands of goldens crowns, underneath a blazing spotlight, with music blasting from speakers.

He paints a dream of five crowns. Eyes bright and shining. 

It's poetry, the way everything that comes out of Jiyong's mouth comes to be and Little Seunghyun—

Little Seunghyun has never wanted something so much in his life. 

Little Seunghyun wants to become someone strong enough to protect his hyungs' dream.

***

The walk back inside is short, and the cool air wakes Seungri up, clears his head a little. 

Drinking on an empty stomach is habit Seungri doesn't want to get, having seen what it does to Jiyong and Seunghyun, but Seungri doesn't mind getting drunk once in a while. It's been months since the last time he's drunk alcohol, and frankly, Seungri thinks he deserves a reward for it.

He drinks cups of soju like they're juice, so much that it flows through his veins, flushes his skin pink, and makes his chest fuzzy. Tiny little fireworks sparking and spitting between his ribs like electricity and it makes Seungri cackle.

Seungri laughs and laughs and laughs until he's hiccupping and muffling his sobs into his palms and sinking against the wall. He tries and he tries and he tries and he _fails_ no matter what he does.

Seungri wants to be sharp and unflinching, strong, like his hyungs, but he feels every hurt so deeply that he thinks it might be impossible. 

***

"Seungri mean VICTORY," Jiyong tells the world, "because Seungri always wins."

Seungri breathes and Jiyong's words rattle inside his lungs, like an empty jar and a marble, there's an infinite amount of space left inside him waiting to be filled. 

Jiyong paints him with thick strokes of gold, calls him victory, and tells him to shine as bright as a star, and Seungri _tries_. Because Seungri has always tried his best to follow Jiyong's directions.

But it's been twelve years, and three scandals, and two solos, and Seungri is starting to think that Jiyong might've been wrong that day. Might've even lied, because right now, Seungri is as far away from victory as he can get.

***

Seungri splashes the bucket of water onto the coal. Steam spills out, fills the room and its cracks and corners with the faint smell of candles and ember. 

His hair is soaked with sweat and his lungs are full of air. 

The door opens and Seungri's mouth falls open. "Hyung?"

Seungri's heart pounds inside his chest and head is foggy, the taste of soju on his tongue makes everything seem surreal. Jiyong shouldn't be here.

_Jiyong. Jiyong-hyung. Hyung._

The world moves in slow motion but everything about Jiyong is crystal clear. 

Seungri breathes, shaky and soft. 

"What are you doing here hyung?" Seungri says, and his tongue, thick and heavy with liquor, can barely form the words. He's shivering, shaking, and he tries to stop. Seungri blinks rapidly. "I.. I thought you already used up your days off for the month."

Jiyong doesn't say anything. He's not smiling and Seungri flinches, takes a step back. Jiyong notices and his edges of his mouth drop even further.

Seungri watches as his head tilts, watches as something eats at his expression until there's only a smooth emptiness. His professional face, Seungri thinks, detached and unfeeling.

Jiyong only ever uses that mask when he's uncomfortable. The realization feels a bit like stepping into ice water. 

Still, it's nothing Seungri didn't expect. 

There's a ringing in his ears, and Jiyong's so quiet, and Seungri looks down at the ground. He feels wrung out, and a little bit like he's teetering on the edge of crying.

"I screwed up didn't I hyung?" Seungri says with a laugh. "I fucked up big time." He is used to laughing, to people giggling alongside in on the joke; okay with his wounds being picked in the open like it doesn't matter because that's how it is. He's just Seungri, silly embarrassing Seungri; but Jiyong stares up at him with calm eyes and a silence falls until Seungri can't breathe. 

A hysterical giggle rises up in his throat because isn't it hilarious that they're having this conversation in a sauna? It's rough and broken and Jiyong's face twists up like he can't find the words he wants to say.

Jiyong of all people. The golden boy of YG, the one who plays with words for a living and writes record-breaking songs based on whims.

Jiyong steps forward— Seungri's breath catches, stutters hard— and pulls him into an embrace. He curls his arms around Seungri protectively, all long limbs and serpent-like strength, and Seungri can almost fool himself into thinking nothing's changed. 

Jiyong's fingers are a cool, soft weight against the simmering heat buried under Seungri's skin. It's hot and stuffy because they're inside a sauna, and Jiyong hugs him too tight, holds him too close like he always does.

(It's just a hug, it's just a hug and yet—

And yet Seungri has to blink against the burn behind his eyes.)

Seungri closes his eyes, and breathes.

"I missed you," Jiyong whispers against the skin of Seungri's neck. His voice is husky and rough, like he's out of practice and Seungri wonders why. Jiyong’s frame presses against him, clinging to him, sweat-slick and comforting. "You never called."

Seungri couldn't.

It's not because Seungri was afraid Jiyong would yell at him. Seungri just didn't want to hear the disappointment in his voice, because Seungri, more than anything, hates disappointing his hyungs.

"What do I need say hyung," Seungri says. "I'm not in YG anymore. I'm.. I'm not in BIGBANG anymore, so you don't have to worry about me now. You don't have to be here, BIGBANG.." Seungri blinks rapidly. "It'll be fine without me."

"Maknae," Jiyong says, his fingers curl around Seungri's arms like iron. There's a look on his face that Seungri can't read— anger, maybe, mixed with something else, something more helpless and it strikes Seungri as wrong, because Jiyong should never look so defeated. "How can you think for a single second that BIGBANG doesn't need you?"

But it doesn't, Seungri wants to say. Jiyong seems to read it from his expression and his eyes darken.

"Seungri, how could you think that we don't need you?" Jiyong says, and his voice became scratchy and raw with honesty. "That I don't need you? _Maknae, look at me."_

Seungri curls forward as much as he can— _even though they're already so close—_ and takes in another shaky breath. He feels vulnerable and terrified and tired and _Jiyong isn't letting go._

"Seungri, we're not leaving you. No matter what."

"Really?" Seungri asks, and his voice cracks. "Do you mean it?" Seungri looks at Jiyong and thinks, _oh._

There's tension he hadn’t even realized he was carrying sliding out of him, washing away under a tide of sheer relief, fierce and desperate joy that he's more than a little scared of because Jiyong is shaking and Seungri suddenly notices all the details he hadn't before.

Stress lines around the corners of his mouth, dark circles, red-rimmed eyes that pointed to hours of crying and yet Jiyong still holds him. Jiyong holds him like he never wants to let go. "Stupid baby, when have I ever lied to you." Jiyong hiccups and Seungri laughs wetly. 

He's scared too, he's tired too, but he's here. 

And Seungri realizes what everyone's been telling him all along, what he had been too thick-skinned to acknowledge. 

He's not alone. He's never been alone. 

> _Seungri closes his eyes and there they are, his hyungs standing incandescent and radiant. Seungri reaches out, and they take his hand, unhesitant, unflinching, and pull him on stage._

***

"Our Seungri works hard," Seunghyun says, when people ask. "He sulks when he's teased too much and cries when he gets sad, and it's cute. Seungri-ah is soft-hearted, maybe the softest of us all, and he gets hurt easily, but that's not a bad thing. Not in the least."

Seungri has small hands that are perfect for holding hearts. He knows it'll be hard to trust him, but he promises to be gentle. Stubborn mouth and earnest voice, soft palms and lavender shampoo. Bubbly laughter and cheerful voice.

His hands will shake, and sometimes he'll stumble, because he doesn't know what he's doing. But if you give Seungri a chance, he promises to take care of your heart. And as you look at him with his scraped knees and bright eyes and beaming smile, you believe him.

"Seungri can be as soft as he wants, he can be spoiled and cry in front of live TV if that's what he wants to do," Seunghyun says, "because we'll be there to comfort Seungri when he's sad. We'll pick up the pieces and help him get on his feet again, because he's not alone." 

***

"I missed you hyung," Seungri says, and his voice shakes, and his eyes are wet. Forever the baby, Seungri thinks, and it's like he's a seventeen again, awkward and full of too many feelings but not enough words to express them all. 

But that's okay, because Jiyong has always had more than enough words for the both of them.

"We're going to be okay," Jiyong tells him, voice soft and soothing. Jiyong smiles crookedly, sliding his fingers through Seungri's hair. His eyes are watering too. "I promise. _I promise._ " And Seungri...

Seungri, finally, slowly, begins to cry.

***

"Seungri-ah, maknae-ah," Jiyong sighs dramatically, and he's looking at Seungri from underneath his lashes before he pouts. It makes something bubble in Seungri's chest, loud and bright, and spreads like wildfire down his belly and to his feet.

Jiyong's eyes soften, inexplicably.

"Yes, hyung?" Seungri manages, in between bouts of laughter, and Jiyong reaches for him, hooking a hand around the back of his neck and tilting slightly to kiss his forehead. He smiles and Seungri's heart aches.

"We're leaving you behind soon," Jiyong says, and Seungri can hear the tiniest bit of sadness in his voice, helpless, as if he had thought that against all odds, Seungri would come with them. "Our baby. All alone."

"I'll be fine hyung," Seungri says, promises. "I'm all grown up now. I'm a strong baby, remember?"

Jiyong grins up at him, fond and tinged with an emotion Seungri can't name. "Strong baby," he agrees, his eyes flicker down, quick as a hummingbird's wings, before he locks Seungri's fingers with his own. "But you're still my baby, and that means you'll never be too old for me to take care of you."

***

Seungri isn't perfect, but neither is anyone else. 

He's clumsy and selfish and embarrassing and sometimes pretty dumb, but it's okay. It's okay that he doesn't always win or always look his best. It's okay if he's a little bit of a crybaby and panics when he's confused.

Seungri is broken bones and shattered glass, but Jiyong is the best artist Seungri has ever known and did you know that in Japan they fill broken cracks with gold, Jiyong says, because broken things can be beautiful, and Seungri is the most beautiful person he knows.

Seungri is learning that he can survive, even when bad things happen to him.

Seungri is a little lost, and not in YG anymore, but he's not alone. He has his friends. He has his family. He has his hyungs.

He's going to be okay, because he's Seungri and Lee Seunghyun and Victory all at once, and that's... that's enough. 

> _"Hyung-ah, Hyung! Did I make you proud?" Little Seunghyun asks._
> 
> _"Of course you did, you always do maknae." Jiyong laughs through the phone, rich and bright and ever-so-fond, and the sound sings down Little Seunghyun's spine like starlight. "My Seungri-ah is so talented."_
> 
> _And Seunghyun, Seungri, Victory grins and shines so bright he thinks he could rival the sun._

***

**Author's Note:**

> rushed this tremendously and i might come back to re-edit


End file.
